The Finals Dictionary
1. Midterm: having an in-class exam on the last day of school.
2. Final Exams: (a) when you aren’t a religious person, but you use every ounce of your body to signal any higher power to take over your pencil during an exam; (b) getting through a whole term with only one pencil but having 4 pencils, 8 pens, 2 white outs, a ruler, 5 calculators, 1 bucket of watermelons and a change of clothes during an exam.
3. Reading Break: (a) to be used during the semester as a chance to catch up on piling papers, overdue assignments and loads of reading; (b) going out to the club.
4. Weekends: term does not exist.
5. Shooketh: meaning to be in total disbelief, utter awe and complete shock. Being shook so hard by a situation, equation or question that your brain explodes.
6. Grade Point Average (GPA): an abstract, governing body of the university that controls students’ lives. GPA will wreck you but you can’t throw it away because you need it.
7. Save Your Grades: when a student slacks off all semester and hopes to buckle down really hard in the final weeks of term to get a good grade. This is a myth.
8. Graduation: an idea so far away that it’s just a thought and you don’t know if you’ll ever cross that stage and finally be done with school. As soon as you walk the stage, you keep on walking… to the airport, on a plane and to the beaches of Mexico.
9. Becoming a _______: When you realize that you’re never going to pass school so you think about other career choices.
10. Drop Out: when you throw your note papers in the garbage during a fit of rage as you cry, sob and then immediately go back to collect all the papers you just threw out.
11. Fight or Flight: When you go hard all term and don’t get sick. You’re killing the whole school thing and the first tiny break you get to enjoy life, you get sick.
12. Rager: Grabbing a crew of your closest friends, putting on your finest sweatpants, slipping on crocs with socks and heading into a dimly light room where you will dose on caffeine while trying to “save your grades” (see term 7).
13. Breakfast: a cup of coffee at 8am.
14. Lunch: a cup of coffee at 12pm.
15. Cup of Coffee: (a) a meal replacement; (b) life.
16. Dinner: a cup of coffee at 11pm paired with bags of candy, energy drinks and a Domino’s pizza delivery to campus.
17. Extra Credit: being so close to getting an A that you are willing and desperate enough to do anything for that extra 1%… did I mention being desperate?
18. Winter Break: going home for the holidays and carb loading while simultaneously stealing groceries.
19. Laundry: there is no laundry during final exams because students will wear the same clothes day after day… including underwear.
20. Dishes: synonymous with take-out boxes.
Have your own definitions for every day words during finals? Comment below!
