What Kind of UVic Student are You?
On one of my many daydreams while attempting to memorize one of the definitions of the “American Romance”, I was staring out the window of the Bibliocafe in MacPherson Library and began imagining what each of the students that walked by was like. I then came up with a brilliant classification system of my imagined personas and felt that it was important enough to share. So here is my framework for everyone I saw. Which one are you? Or are you a combination? (I’m a proud combination of the Academic – the less desirable qualities anyway – and the Hippie.)
They always sit in the front, never ask for extensions, and still magically have time for extra reading.
They are the Hermione Grangers of UVic who we all admire but secretly despise.
Rarely social, except when it comes to group projects, then they refuse to leave you alone.
On a first name basis with the prof and likely the Dean.
Has nightmares about being late for class.
If there’s a midterm you may see them then as well.
They do not do groups. They do not appear to eat.
If you get a ghost in a group project you will receive an email from them precisely 48 hours before the due date asking if you need anything done. Secretly a genius.
So fit they make you tired just looking at them. Way too nice.
Makes you feel inadequate in your own accomplishments by making statements like “I had a good run this morning” or “Mmm, kale!” and you’re just sitting there like “I haven’t fallen down yet today” as you tuck into your second gingersnap cookie at Mac’s.
Probably knows someone famous. Or is famous. Or both.
The Campus Celebrity
Uses phrases like “student engagement is critical” on a regular basis. Probably in business or political science.
You’re not sure how, but whenever you see them they look like they’re moving in slow motion (like Baywatch).
Always eating, kind of like Brad Pitt in Oceans Eleven. Owns at least 4 different UVic sweaters.
Maxed out their friends on Facebook so they had to create a public page.
Says they have classes, but you’ve never seen them in one. Always “tired, but excited!”
Refuses to use, buy, eat, smell, look at, or acknowledge anything unless it has “local”, “sustainable”, or “organic” in the title.
Audibly gasped the first time they entered the new Whole Foods at Uptown.
Grows produce on their balcony. Gets really passionate about salmon.
Probably vegan; if not, definitely vegetarian. Accidentally ate a bite of locally-sourced grass-fed beef at the Kombucha bar three years ago and still feels deep shame about it (but will never admit to it).
Has a way cooler summer job than you.
Did I miss anybody? Leave in the comments what kind of Uvic student you are! 🙂 <3