School’s Back: A Five Step Guide to Making it Through the Semester

1. Sport a hip new pencil case. Others are sure to notice you for your dazzling stationery accessory. In fact, a new pencil case is proven to boost your confidence by 67%, while believing in nonsensical statistics ups your confidence by 49%. That’s an 116% increase in confidence. Whoa.

2. Always pretend to be lost so you can be nonchalant when you ask your cute library crush for directions. If you want to take your acting skills to the next level, pretend you’re a first year (even if you’re not), so your crush will feel super sympathetic and walk you to your next class.

3. Be careful where you stick your gum. Gum karma is real.

4. Schedule in some time for exercise. If you’re not actually going to exercise, pretend you’re going to by wearing your Nikes and Lululemon leggings twice a week. At least you’ll look athletic.

5. Walk with vigor. Wear your fav sweater and rock your fav tunes in your headphones. School isn’t so bad when you’re on top of the world.