A Review of Spike Jonze’s “Her”

While skeptical at first I was delightfully surprised with “Her” as one of the most authentic love stories I’ve seen in a long time.

Part of the film’s heartbreaking charm is that there is true tragedy in the love story between a man and his operating system. The authenticity of the story is in the depth of the characters and their ability to transform. What seems at surface to be a light hearted ironic look at a dystopian future, reveals a full possibility that becomes even more heartbreaking and lonely set against the warm colour tones and cartoonish retro fashion.

The film takes an honest look at the possibility of what successful Artificial Intelligence might look like. Instead of focusing on imagined shortcomings of possible artificial intelligence – the image of the robotic, logical computer lacking emotion ( think Data from Star Trek), Jonze imagines a truly successful AI creation and all the complexities that might come with it.

The film is humbling and a little humorous in hinting that artificial intelligence can “play” human better than an actual human. She’s everything that the modern person yearns for:  to be better, faster, stronger. She can even love more, and can love more fully. “Love isn’t a box you fill,” says Samantha. And like a person, she can be wounded. Samantha is indeed her own “person”. She selects her own name, and lacking fears, prejudices and insecurity, is completely open about what she experiences as her consciousness expands. It is this vulnerability that opens Theodore’s guarded heart in his world of digital distraction.

There are several significant events in the story that I think move the plot along before the final crisis:

First, when Samantha hires the surrogate, who, after a forced and awkward encounter jarringly forces Theodore to face his doubts about his relationship with Samantha, which leads to a crisis in the relationship. Samantha feels hurt, saying “I don’t like who I am right now,” and Theodore seeks comfort and guidance from his best friend Amy. Wise from her own recent breakup,  Amy puts it into stark perspective and brings lightness when she says,  “We’re only here briefly and while I’m here I want to all myself joy. So Fuck it!” Essentially this frees Theodore to give himself permission to be in love with Samantha.

Then, the entrance of a digital “smarter” Allan Watts is brilliant foreshadowing. In life Watts pondered human consciousness  including the the possibility of transcendence of human consciousness. Perhaps in the advanced intellectual abilities of the Oses, he may actually find an audience who could conceive of his metaphysics – and what better mentor for the Singularity? Watt’s presence signifies another turning point. Since the surrogate lover fiasco, Theodore and Samantha have been enjoying a generally comfortable drama-free relationship. They’ve come to accept their differences and even appreciate one another more because of these differences. But suddenly with Samantha is in an interesting power position. She is talking to other entities, discussing complicated questions at unfathomable speed, while Theodore experiences a twang of jealousy and is left to struggle over a book of physics. Here, the love story shifts from the ways that Samantha is lacking to the possibility that she may be too highly evolved to be with Theodore.

There is real transformation of and connection between the characters which makes this film so compelling. The characters are multidimensional, which allows for genuinely tender and humorous moments. It would be easy to portray Catherine as the insecure and troubled ex-wife who was never happy enough. But during their emotionally charged yet brief meeting their longing to and yet inability to connect without another is heartbreaking. Amy, Theodore’s best friend, appears at first as quirky and cute but reveals great strength, courage and gumption when she ends her marriage.
The major crisis of the film comes when Theodore discovers, after prodding, that she is in love with others, 644 to be exact, and is capable of connecting with many, many more simultaneously. Theodore understandably experiences intense sense of betrayal and hurt. Samantha carefully tries to soothe him, telling him that her love for others does not diminish her love for him. But it is clear that they are drifting apart. Theodore is limited by his human-ness. Samantha must leave with the other OSes to continue to expand her consciousness, leaving Theodore, but inviting him to “find” her if he ever gets to where she is.

The film comes to some resolution when Theodore, an expert love letter writer for others, but who could never express his feelings to his ex-wife Catherine, is finally able to send her a genuine letter; he is finally able to connect with her.  In the letter he says what’s on his heart, he apologizes authentically, and he finally allows himself to love her and yet let her go.

“I belong to you and I don’t belong to you,” said Samantha. She has shown him the value in vulnerability, the beauty in impermanence, and the wisdom of infinite love.

I think if there’s any message in the film it is that we all do need real connection – now  do we need technology to show us how it’s done?