4 Free Last Minute Halloween Costumes

“Honey, where is my […] suit!?” –Frozone, The Incredibles (2004)

The mere fact that you’ve clicked on this post tells me that you are waist deep in the biggest mistake of your life, and it can only get worse if you don’t act fast.

At the time of my writing this, it is 3:00 in the afternoon on October 31st, and you have no Halloween costume. I frequently find myself in predicaments like these. I would go as far as considering myself a pro-procrastinator, but I am willing to give up a few of my trade secrets. Here are some last minute Halloween costumes you can make, using just things you find around the house.

1. A Moose

Now, the key to pulling off a believable moose is all about how you carry yourself. Moose (Mooses? Meese?) don’t worry themselves with the hustle and bustle of human life, and in this costume neither should you.

The actual costume itself is quite simple: two sticks I found on the ground outside, and a string from an old hoodie. A pro-tip that I’ve learned is that you want to really make sure the sticks are secured firmly to your head, as I had more than a few embarrassing incidents where I charged at things with my powerful horns, only to have them snap like the first 1/3rd of the rice krispie elves.

Disclaimer: Other large forest dwelling animals WILL NOT BE FOOLED by this disguise, unless you do the exact moose face seen here. Believe me this expression can get you out of a ton of moose-related trouble.

2. Handstand Man

Some people may say this is a low effort costume, and I would wholeheartedly agree. All I had to do was put clothes on incorrectly, which I’ve already been doing for years, so this just seemed like a natural solution.

The favourite line I use while wearing this costume is “Good evening sir/madam, please shake my hand, or should I say…foot!” after which I repeatedly explain that since I am handstand man, my hands in this case would technically be my feet, and that I am very sorry for fooling them. The best part of any good one-liner is the explanation and apology.

Update: This costume also has a very convenient hole.

3. A Dog

Yes, 50% of my last minute costume ideas are animals. Perhaps this is a reflection of the wild beast within me, a lone wolf, cursed to walk alone through this nature we call life. Always living with a chip on his wolf shoulder, yearning for revenge on the hunters that destroyed his pack, will I ever truly be free of this curse? All great questions for another post, for now.

I think this costume turned out the most realistic of them all. All it required was saving up all the hair from my haircuts for a few years, a bit of glue, and a dog collar. Never even had to leave the house!

I know, I know, it doesn’t really look like the real deal. I feel like if I had started making a costume yesterday it would’ve given me the time I need for this to be perfect.

4. Whatever Your Roommate is Being

To cap off the list we have my go-to last minute costume. Now before you complain, this does fit my original criteria of using things you can find around the house, so all I had to do was rifle through my roommate’s personal belongings after I told him I was doing “blog research” until I found this hidden gem.

They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, and in this day and age, I think we would all like to be flattered every once in a while. Consider this a favour to your roomie, the easiest way to show them that you truly admire them. Thanks Marco! 

This did result in a gang of third graders making fun of me for having “Pooh on my chest” but I did the adult thing and took all their candy.

Let me know in the comments if these tips helped you or if you have any more last minute ideas I can add to my playbook. Now get out there and start tricking and/or treating!

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2 Responses

  1. judus says:

    very funny stuff

  2. josh l says:

    very funny stuff

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