Breaking Up, Gracefully.

Breaking up is like reading a poem. You’re so captivated by it that you don’t even realize you’re nearing the end until nothing follows the last line break. It leaves you with this terrible emptiness and you aren’t quite sure what to do with yourself. The poem itself is finished, but the lines still reverberate inside you.

It’s so easy to blame yourself: “Maybe it’s my fault. Maybe I should have been kinder, more gentle, easier to love.”

Don’t feel guilty. You’re not supposed to be easier to love. Your only job is to make yourself happy. You can be twisters and whirlwinds and nails on chalkboards, and if someone finds that hard to love then that’s their problem, not yours. It doesn’t matter how difficult or easy you are to love. You broke up for a reason. And if you were really meant to be together, you would have loved each other no matter what.

Just because you’re no longer together doesn’t mean you should forget the good or the bad. Remembering the bad is just as important as remembering the good. Hold on to memories that give you fireflies in your stomach, but keep those fireflies away from your heart by remembering why it didn’t work in the end. Protect your heart, but let it run loose every once in awhile. Don’t let it stop you from moving on. Find a balance.

You’ll find that moving on is like wanting to wear your favourite shirt even though there’s a massive coffee stain on it. You can either look like a fool, holding on to a stained shirt, or you can decide to throw it out and wear something new. Even if you have stain remover, the stain will still leave a yellow mark. And you’ll be extra careful wearing a shirt that stains so easily.

Moving on doesn’t necessarily mean that you move onto the next person, or completely forget the person you were with. Moving on means that you can become comfortable with yourself, and yourself alone. You learn the lessons that no one else can teach you.

Eventually, you will learn not to fear love, and not to reject it from your life. You’ll surround yourself with friends who encourage you to be yourself. You’ll remember how young you are still. You’ll fall in love with the world again, because time is fleeting, and so is the pain you’re feeling now.

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