It used to be nearly impossible to find an old Facebook post. It still is, but Facebook has recently started to remind me what I was up to one, three, seven years ago. This is effective in giving me nostalgic feels about how tiny my kids used to be and how thin I once was. It also got me thinking about the other ways that Facebook keeps me anchored in the past and wondering whether this is a good thing.
I have accumulated a lot of Facebook friendships over the years. They come from the many schools I attended as my family moved across Western Canada, three grad classes – one of them in Sweden, four cohorts of post-secondary ed, three career changes, multiple hobbies, as well as two kids worth of parental connections.
I felt most grateful towards this catalogue of relationships after I emerged from the isolation of grad school. I had pushed myself hard to complete my Masters and sacrificed keeping in touch with just about everyone. Facebook relieved me of the guilt I felt as I hadn’t fallen completely out of touch with anyone – they were just a PM away.
However, the dissonance between Facebook and the real world sometimes slaps me in the face. I run into a Facebook friend in the real world and feel shy about saying hello. I feel invaded by a comment in the grocery lineup about my recent vacation pics. That I had posted. For friends to see. I question who I am holding onto. Is it time to let go?
I’ve tightened up who can see what on my profile. When a family member was hospitalized, I started to post kid pics again to give her something nice to look at while she waits for treatments. I’m also playing with blocking posts from everyone except people that are currently in my life.
I think that Facebook is teaching me to value my past. I’m not ready to cut ties with my past and match my Facebook life up with my present.